Questions
1. How often do I feel tired, fatigued or run down?	1	2	3
2. How often do I have an upset stomach, diarrhea or constipation?	1	2	3
3. How often do I eat poorly or notice weight gain or weight loss?	1	2	3
4. How often do I have trouble falling asleep or wake up in the middle of the night?	1	2	3
5. How often is my mind full of “What if” thoughts that seem like they’re stuck on “fast-forward?”	1	2	3
6. How often do I feel heavy-hearted, angry, mad or irritated?	1	2	3
7. How often do I feel overwhelmed, get quiet, or just wish I could shut down for a while?	1	2	3
8. How often do I worry about my loved one’s finances or legal/estate planning arrangements?	1	2	3
9. How often do I feel guilty, hurt, or angry after interacting with my loved one?	1	2	3
10. How often do I feel like I’m running on a hamster wheel with no down time and just not getting anywhere?	1	2	3
11. When my loved one calls me, how often is my first reaction something like a big sigh or saying “Oh, God!?”	1	2	3
12. How often do I feel guilty for not spending enough time with my loved one?	1	2	3
13. How often do I think that what is happening to my loved one just isn’t fair?	1	2	3
14. How often do I feel mad or upset about the lack of support I get from family, friends, or health care providers?	1	2	3
15. How often do I get upset with my loved one for asking the same questions, losing things, or being forgetful?	1	2	3
16. How often do I fear spending time with my loved one due to his or her unpredictable or unusual behavior?	1	2	3
17. How often do I feel stressed or frustrated because of coordinating multiple healthcare appointments?	1	2	3
18. How often do I feel stressed or frustrated because of having a hard time finding good medical care?	1	2	3
19. How often do I feel stressed or frustrated because of being unable to find people to cover for me so I can get some time to myself?	1	2	3

Step 4:  General Mastery Strategies.

Review the questions from the A Caregiver’s Stress Quiz. Find the questions on which you scored 2 or 3 and then find tips below for managing stress in those areas:

Questions Where You Scored a 2 or 3	Stress Mastery Tips
1 – 7	These questions explore typical stress reactions on a physical dimension. Problems like fatigue, difficulties with digestion, appetite, sleep, etc., develop because the challenges we face as care partners activate fight-flight responses in our brain that pump stress hormones into our bodies and disrupt our sense of equilibrium and security. Luckily, strategies for softening the impact of stress on our bodies are available to help. Typical suggestions include creating more consistent sleep habits through sleep hygiene techniques, scheduling regular exercise, and creating healthy eating patterns. Those steps, while logical, are very difficult to follow for many of us so building a more robust game-plan becomes necessary. You can find more detailed descriptions of physical coping strategies in A Caregiver’s Well-Being: How to Master Stress and Find Balance While Caring for a Loved One with Dementia Chapter 7: Physical Domains of Coping.
8	A loved one’s finances and legal/estate plans can be frequent sources of stress especially if, as caregivers, we don’t have a good handle on the status of a loved one’s financial situation and estate plans. While often uncomfortable, the best stress management strategy is to begin talking with loved ones about these areas and identifying what steps need to be taken now and as their mental status changes over time. Be sure that legal documents such as wills, power of attorney, conservatorship, etc., are up to date, signed and locatable. On the financial side, determine if you, as caregiver, need to be on your loved one’s checking account or other financially related accounts. Discussions around these issues are often difficult so start early and be as gentle as possible. Further tips for handling stress in these areas in A Caregiver’s Well-Being: How to Master Stress and Find Balance While Caring for a Loved One with Dementia – Chapter 5: Legal, Estate, and Financial Planning.
9 – 12	The struggle of managing our emotions is reflected in these questions and the experience of depression, anxiety, withdrawal, guilt, helplessness, anger and frustration is a reality that we face as care partners. Being able to learn ways to cope with these feelings, however, is also a reality. Many decades of psychological research have led to clearer understanding of how we can build emotional regulation skills and areas of psychological practice, such as Cognitive-Behavior Psychology, have translated that research into concrete and practical tools that can help lead to better emotional coping. As caregivers, we benefit from learning how to think realistically, growing in mindfulness and acceptance strategies, and building more robust self- acceptance. Specific tools for learning such skills can be found in A Caregiver’s Well- Being: How to Master Stress and Find Balance While Caring for a Loved One with Dementia   Chapter 8: Psychological Domains for Coping.
13 – 14	Issues around grief, unfairness, and lack of care support are, unfortunately, frequent occurrences on the journey of caregiving. While everyone’s situation is different, we strongly suggest directly reaching out for support – that is, asking for it – from family, friends, church members, neighbors, etc. Many people aren’t comfortable in asking for help but please, don’t strand yourself on “Caregiver Island” as this will result over time in much higher stress. Finding support by joining virtual or in person care partner support group (e.g. like those sponsored by the Alzheimer’s Association), is also a vital part of a stress management game plan. More information for coping in these areas is found in A Caregiver’s Well-Being: How to Master Stress and Find Balance While Caring for a Loved One with Dementia Chapter 9: Social Domains of Coping, and Chapter 10: Discovering Deeper Meaning in Our Caregiving Relationships.
15 – 16	These questions address just some of the difficult behaviors that a loved one with dementia can develop. Problems with memory, understanding, language, perception (e.g., hallucinations, delusions, paranoia), emotions, impulsivity, wandering, etc., present very difficult challenges to caregivers’ abilities to cope and respond in positive ways. Doing so requires both the emotional coping skills discussed above as well as developing the skill of acting opposite to our instincts. For example, when a loved one forgets that we told him or her about something, we so want to say, “Don’t you remember? I already told you that 6 times!” Acting opposite means learning the accept that our loved one actually doesn’t remember because of a slow dying off of brain cells and then, after taking a slow breath, repeating what we said for the 6th time. Having dementia means that it becomes harder and harder for loved ones to live in our reality so we, as caregivers, have to accept this and try to live into their reality. You can find strategies for doing this and more in A Caregiver’s Well-Being: How to Master Stress and Find Balance While Caring for a Loved One with Dementia Chapter 11: Changing our Care Partner Behavior.
17 – 19	One of the most concretely frustrating areas of serving as a care partner is finding skilled and dependable healthcare services for a loved one. Coping with the stress of this reality begins with locating PCPs, gerontologists, neurologists, home health services, etc., who have the training and experience in the diagnosis and care of people who have dementia. We will also benefit if we can build our own knowledge in some of the basic information necessary  in understanding dementia itself such as the warning signs of dementia, knowing some of the more common types of dementia (Alzheimer’s Disease, Vascular dementia, etc.), and knowing how to prepare for healthcare appointments. Finding local healthcare resources can be tough in some areas but, in addition to your own local healthcare providers, referrals can be sought through the Alzheimer’s Association Community Resource Finder or the Administration for Community Living Eldercare Locator. Further information on how to build a Care Team for a loved one can be found in A Caregiver’s Well-Being: How to Master Stress and Find Balance While Caring for a Loved One with Dementia Chapter 2: Symptoms and Warning Signs of Dementia, Chapter 3: Obtaining a Diagnosis, and Chapter 4:  Ongoing Healthcare and Support.

Step 5: Sign Up Below for the Free A Caregiver’s Well-Being Newsletter

Mastering stress and finding balance as a caregiver certainly will require more than the introductory information provided above. Our hope is that you will pursue building your knowledge and resilience as a caregiver in whatever way works for you. You can find lists of and links to caregiving resources on our website on the Caregiver Resources page and we invite you to sign up for our free newsletter. Through the newsletter, you will receive regular information related to thriving as a care partner as well as other information related to dementia care. We would be honored to have you as part of our caregiving community.